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So many of us have been conditioned to believe that enduring hardship is the only way to prove our worth. We’ve witnessed women before us survive toxic work environments, only to see them turn around and demand the same suffering from others. It’s time we stop mistaking suffering for strength and start building environments where we support one another, rise together, and change the system for good.

There’s so much we overlook when we let our inner critic run the show, focusing only on what went wrong and ignoring all the effort we put in. By intentionally tracking the small wins, gathering evidence of progress, and reclaiming our time, we can start to build the career we actually want instead of the one we think we deserve. It’s time for us to stop waiting for validation and start owning the work we’re doing to move forward.

It’s tempting to chase compliments, especially when we’ve worked hard, but they rarely help us grow. By learning to ask for, receive, and act on honest feedback—even when it stings—we can uncover our blind spots and make strategic adjustments that move our careers forward. Choosing growth over comfort is how we go from being seen as competent to being recognized as impactful and indispensable.

It’s far too easy for us to repeat negative patterns when we’ve been conditioned to expect disappointment and invisibility in our workplaces. Our brains go into survival mode, scanning for what’s going wrong, which gradually limits what we believe is possible for ourselves. When we begin to gently challenge these internal narratives, even in small ways, we reclaim agency and allow ourselves to build something different.