189. Rest, Recharge and Reset
- cindyesliger
- Oct 23
- 13 min read
Burnout sneaks up on us while we’re busy overachieving, convincing ourselves that exhaustion is just part of the job. Once we realize we’ve been stuck in survival mode for too long, it’s up to us to start making the small, intentional shifts that allow us to rest and heal. By giving ourselves permission to reset, we can rediscover the version of us that feels whole, grounded, and actually alive.
Maybe you’ve been silently holding it together for so long that even admitting you’re exhausted feels like a betrayal of your carefully curated high-functioning façade.
Are you secretly running on empty, even though you’re meeting every deadline and exceeding expectations? Are you stuck in survival mode, unsure how to break the cycle of chronic stress and exhaustion? Are you struggling to give yourself permission to rest without feeling guilty or unproductive?
You’ll learn that rest is not a luxury or a reward—it’s a biological necessity that allows us to recover, reset, and reconnect with ourselves. Recognizing the signs of burnout and making small, intentional changes can be the first step toward a life that feels good instead of just tolerable.
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
Why recognizing survival mode is important
5 practical tips to begin stepping out of survival mode
Why rest can feel uncomfortable at first
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TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and eighty-nine. I'm your host Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way.
If you've ever felt like while operating at a high level, you're secretly hanging on by a thread, you're not alone. So many high-achieving women, especially in male-dominated professions, spend years in survival mode, pushing through exhaustion, suppressing their needs, and functioning on autopilot just to keep up. It becomes second nature to move from task to task without pausing because stopping, or even slowing down, feels like failure. Chronic stress has a sneaky way of making dysfunction feel normal. And when our default setting becomes 'just get through the day', we no longer experience the joy, clarity, and connection that makes our work and life truly meaningful.
In this episode, it's time for a bit of a wake-up call. Because taking the time to rest, recharge and reset isn't an indulgence – it's a necessity. You don't have to keep proving your worth by how much you can endure. The truth is, staying in survival mode for too long isn't sustainable, and the longer you wait to acknowledge it, the harder it becomes to pull yourself out. It's time to start recognizing the signs, breaking the cycle, and taking small, deliberate steps to get back to yourself. Not because you're broken, but because you finally realize that this isn't the life you want to settle for.
If you've been functioning at a high level, meeting or even exceeding expectations, and yet quietly wondering if you're on the brink of a full system crash – you're not broken. You're not failing. You're probably just stuck in survival mode. And, while it may have been working for you thus far, you may be finally realizing that this is not sustainable.
It's negatively affecting you – your energy and your well-being – whether you're aware of it, or not. Maybe you've been white-knuckling it for years, grinding away, and now you're just not able to do it anymore. Maybe you've been the one who was waking up tired, powering through anyway, and then falling into bed at night, exhausted, only to wake up and do it all again tomorrow.
For years I didn't even realize I was drowning. I thought I was 'doing well' – at least that's what it looked like from the outside. I showed up, delivered results, kept it together, smiled at the right times, and made sure I was available after hours for those emergencies. I thought I was killing it, but as it turns out, it was killing me.
I was simply on autopilot. And I'm willing to bet a lot of you are, too.
That's the thing about survival mode – it's sneaky. You don't always realize you're in it because it becomes your norm. You get used to the stress. You adapt. You start thinking this is just how life is now, like adulthood is some sort of endurance test. Except that it's not. At least it's not supposed to be this way. You were never meant to live in a perpetual state of feeling stressed.
And yet, so many of us do. Especially women in male-dominated professions, where recognition is scarce, expectations are sky high, and the unwritten rules seem to be: do more with less, and don't complain while you're at it.
Sound familiar?
So, let's talk about what rest, recharge and reset actually mean.
Now, I'm not just talking about booking a beach vacation or treating yourself to a spa day once a year (although honestly, do both if you can). I'm talking about getting some real rest. This is about recharging in a way that replenishes your energy levels. It's about resetting your nervous system so you're no longer always running on fumes, fueled by caffeine and resentment.
It means no longer seeing rest as something you 'earn' after you've been productive enough. It means challenging the idea that exhaustion is some kind of badge of honor. It means starting to ask better questions like, what would it take for me to actually feel good again? What am I afraid might happen if I stop hustling?
Survival mode is your body's way of keeping you alive in a perceived crisis. It's not a flaw, and it's not a character defect. It's actually a brilliant biological system designed to keep you safe.
The problem? It was meant to be a temporary setting.
But, in our chronically overstimulated, under-resourced work culture, survival mode has become the default for many of us. And once you've been there long enough, you forget what it felt like before. Your baseline shifts. You stop noticing the tension in your shoulders, the ever-present irritability, and the afternoon energy crashes that make you crave sugar and caffeine just to make it until quitting time.
Because when stress becomes the norm, slower times start to feel suspicious.
You tell yourself things like:
"I just need to get through this week."
"Once this project is over, I'll rest."
"This is just how it is in my industry these days."
Except the week comes to an end, the project finishes, and then the next crisis appears. And guess what? You're still exhausted because the treadmill doesn't stop and you never got the break you needed.
We tend to get stuck in this never-ending cycle. There are a few common triggers that keep us locked into this survival mode:
Scarcity of recognition: You work hard, but your efforts are overlooked or dismissed. So, instead of reassessing where things might need to change, you push harder.
Unequal workloads: You end up doing more, often invisible labor, just to prove your value.
‘Do more with less' culture: We work with fewer resources, meeting higher expectations, with zero acknowledgement. And, if I remember correctly, I think way back when, this was supposed to be a temporary thing. And yet, here we are, where this has become the norm.
When these conditions pile on, your body starts to perceive your job as a threat to your well-being. And it keeps you in a low-grade fight-or-flight state... all the time.
So, if you're starting to wonder whether you've been stuck in survival mode a little too long, let's walk through the five most common warning signs:
Constant Exhaustion: You could sleep ten hours a night and still wake up feeling like you didn't get the sleep you needed. This isn't just being tired – it's physical, mental, and emotional fatigue that doesn't budge. Chronic stress will do that. It depletes your reserves and messes with your immune system. Eventually, even existing feels like an effort.
Everything Feels Overwhelming: When you're constantly in overdrive, your executive functioning short-circuits, making even a simple decision feel monumental.
You're Emotionally Reactive: Your nervous system is perceiving everything as a threat and every new stressor feels catastrophic. So, even the small things may send you spiraling.
Joy Feels Like a Distant Concept: Even when something objectively great happens, your first instinct is, "How long will this last?". You're so used to bracing for the next disaster that your brain doesn't even register the good anymore.
Forgetfulness and Brain Fog: You find yourself losing your train of thought, and sometimes, you can't even remember what someone said five minutes ago. Planning for next week feels impossible because you're barely making it through today.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. So many high-achieving women are stuck in survival mode, often without realizing it. This is where I invite you to get curious and ask yourself: What if this didn't have to be my normal? What if there was another way?
And that's what we'll get into next – how to actually begin the process of stepping out of survival mode and into something more sustainable, more grounded, and, dare I say, more joyful.
None of us chose to feel scattered and completely disconnected from ourselves. We didn't opt-in to brain fog, chronic tension, or the constant sense of dread that creeps in when we open our laptop for the day. We simply adapted to survive. We learned to cope by using the tools and habits available to us, at the time. We did what felt necessary to make it through the day, the week, the year, even if it meant saying 'yes' when we meant 'no', skipping lunch again, and staying silent when someone crossed the line.
But, the longer we stay in survival mode, the more it takes from us. And unlike a dramatic crash-and-burn event, the damage usually happens slowly, in a series of tiny concessions that quietly chip away at our well-being and sense of self.
Survival mode doesn't just drain your energy – it starts reshaping your entire life. The toll it takes on you is real. You might not even notice the subtle but compounding compromises that slowly disconnect you from the life you wanted.
Maybe you once had strong convictions, but now you find yourself tolerating things that don't sit right – inequity, disrespect, or the expectation to do more than those around you. Maybe you used to dream big, but now your goal is to simply make it to Friday, without falling apart. Maybe your life looks like success from the outside, but inside, you feel like a shadow of the person you once were.
And the hardest part? You still blame yourself for not doing more. You're not lazy. You're exhausted and emotionally depleted. You're tired of being always 'on'. You're tired of caring so much while feeling so unseen. And sometimes, none of that makes sense to anyone else, but that's okay. You know the weight you're carrying.
Our culture is obsessed with being busy. So, if you're not stretched to your limit, you must not be committed enough. So many of us treat our exhaustion like a badge of honor: "I worked until eleven last night" or "I haven't had a vacation in years", as if that's something to aspire to.
There's no trophy for being the most depleted.
The truth is, rest is not a reward for productivity. It's a biological necessity. It's what allows your brain to problem solve, your emotions to regulate, and your body to recover. You cannot grow or thrive if you're barely functioning.
One of the most underrated performance enhancers available to us is sleep. And yet, it's one of the first things we sacrifice. Getting proper sleep sharpens your focus, increases creativity, improves your mood, and helps you regulate stress. Sleep isn't just rest – it's repair. So, if you're exhausted and struggling, the easiest fix might be to take a nap. And yet, we find that so hard to do.
The best way to start getting out of survival mode is by making small, intentional shifts that tell your body and brain you are safe and you are allowed to feel good again.
Here are five strategies to help you start that shift, from barely surviving to starting to thrive:
Do Something Just For Fun: Pick something playful and pointless. Fun lowers your cortisol levels, boosts creativity, and gives your overworked brain a much needed break. When you remind yourself that life can feel good again, even for just five minutes, you start to rewire your nervous system.
Change Things Up: Your environment influences your energy, so try rearranging your furniture, working from a coffee shop, or taking your meeting outside. Switch up your morning routine. Add a plant. Light a candle. Use the fancy mug. Shifting your surroundings might help you shift your internal narrative.
Show Some Compassion For Yourself: Next time you catch yourself spiraling in negative self-talk, pause and ask yourself, "What would I say to a friend if they were going through this?". Odds are, you'd be kind, supportive, and encouraging. So, why not offer yourself the same grace? Self-compassion is soothing and makes it easier to keep going.
Overcome Resistance By Making It Too Easy: Momentum can build with just one small step. Even a tiny win tells your brain that you're moving forward and that can be enough. Drink one glass of water. Take a five-minute walk around the block. Meditate for sixty seconds. Then, check it off your list. Give yourself a gold star. High-five your reflection in the mirror. Whatever works.
Selectively Socialize: Maybe it's just me, but not every interaction at work is energizing. Some people are absolutely draining. Take a moment to notice how you feel after you've spent time with someone. Are you feeling recharged or completely wiped? Prioritize the people who make you laugh and make you feel more alive.
This isn't about perfection – you don't have to get it all right. You just have to start giving yourself permission to rest, to feel, and to exist without always feeling the need to be performing.
Maybe you've been silently holding it together for so long that even admitting you're exhausted feels like a betrayal of your carefully curated, high-functioning facade. Maybe you're finally at a point where you're thinking, "I don't think I can keep doing this anymore".
I get it. I really do.
Because I've been there. I was that high-achiever, functioning at the highest level, meeting those high expectations. No one really knew anything was wrong – how could they? I was still delivering, still responsive, still attending all the meetings, and still smiling. But, on the inside, I was falling apart. And, I didn't even realize just how badly I needed a reset until I finally gave myself permission to take one. I didn't know how much I was missing until I started feeling like myself again. But, that took a long time.
That's the thing about chronic stress and burnout. You get so used to barely coping that you start to think that's just who you are now.
If this is you, let me assure you: you're not stuck here. There is a way forward.
You can start taking small, powerful steps today toward a life that feels good, not just tolerable. A career that feels aligned, not just something you have to grit your teeth to endure. A version of you that feels whole, not constantly bracing for what's next.
It's time we started treating self-care as a reset, rather than a reward. Sometimes, rest is closing your eyes for just ten seconds between back-to-back meetings. Sometimes, it's taking a deep breath. And other times, it's canceling the thing you really don't want to go to and letting go of the guilt.
There is no universal understanding of what rest looks like. What you need may not be what someone else needs. What works for you today may not work next week. That's where your self-awareness comes in.
Start by asking yourself: What kind of rest do I need most right now?
Here are a few types to consider:
Physical Rest: Do you need more sleep? Or maybe some gentle movement? Try taking a nap, stretching, drawing a warm bath, doing yoga, or committing to an earlier bedtime.
Emotional Rest: Are you feeling drained from holding everything in or being 'on' all the time? Try journaling, setting boundaries, or giving yourself permission to not be okay. To be honest, I have found that having a good cry in the privacy of my own home very therapeutic at times.
Creative Rest: Are you feeling stuck or uninspired? Try a change of scenery, listening to music, visiting an art gallery or museum, doodling, reading, or daydreaming. Sometimes, once you've gotten some physical and emotional rest, your creativity returns on its own.
Social Rest: Do you feel more energized when you're interacting with people? Then, by all means, make plans with your friends. If you're more on the introverted side like me, and tend to feel exhausted by too much 'peopling', then try giving yourself some quiet time or taking a solo walk.
Sensory Rest: Sometimes, the world just feels too loud or too bright. At times like this, try dimming the lights or using noise-canceling headphones to just give yourself the break you need from the sensory overload.
Once you start giving yourself some real, restorative rest, you might start to notice things shifting:
Your capacity to handle things starts to return. You can think more clearly, make decisions more easily, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
You feel more joy again. You find yourself more able to follow your curiosities. Your emotional bandwidth increases enough to remember that you're capable of feeling more than just dread.
You begin to trust yourself again. You're more self-aware and no longer always bracing for impact.
These are the early signs of healing and of coming back to life after years of pushing your emotions down, just to get through the day.
The one thing to keep in mind is that true rest can feel incredibly uncomfortable at first, especially if you've been stuck in survival mode for a long time.
We might assume that finally resting will feel good right away, like a huge relief. But for many high-achieving women, especially those conditioned to push through, resting, at least initially, can feel wrong. It can trigger guilt, anxiety, or even a sense of feeling lost – because your nervous system has been wired to see doing nothing as unsafe or unproductive. So, when you finally start to slow down, you'll feel the need to get up and do something, anything. That discomfort doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means your system needs to adjust from being always in overdrive. Learning to rest isn't just about giving yourself permission – it's about rewiring your relationship with stillness.
Many high-achieving women have spent years in survival mode, pushing through exhaustion and ignoring their own needs, not realizing how chronic stress quietly rewires us to believe exhaustion is just part of the job. But rest, recharge and reset aren't signs of weakness – they're the foundation of a career (and a life) that actually feels good to live.
We deserve more than just surviving our workday. More than just counting the hours until the weekend. More than proving ourselves until we have nothing left to give.
I know it's easy to look back and wonder, why didn't I see this sooner? Why didn't I stop myself before I got this depleted? But, let's be honest – you were doing the best you could with what you knew.
You made choices that helped you survive.
You chose work over rest because you thought it was what your career demanded. You said 'yes' when you meant 'no' because you were afraid of the consequences. You stayed quiet to maintain harmony. You coped. You adapted. You endured.
And now?
Now, you can finally give yourself the reset that you so desperately need. So enjoy it. You deserve it.
And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Pressing Pause at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and eighty-nine.
Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.
Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.
