207. Adapt Or Get Left Behind

Staying the same may feel safe, but we see how it quietly limits our relevance, visibility, and growth. We’re reminded that adaptive thinking is a learnable skill that replaces waiting, perfectionism, and external validation with curiosity, action, and ownership of our career direction. By choosing change over comfort, we create options, expand our influence, and reclaim our agency.

So, what do most of us do? We double down. We work harder. We think if we just keep doing what we're doing, eventually they'll notice.

Are you feeling stuck because your expertise has boxed you into a narrow role? Are you waiting for confidence, permission, or perfect timing before making a move? Are you watching others advance while your hard work goes unnoticed?

You’ll learn that adaptability—not effort alone—is the real competitive advantage, and that taking imperfect action is what builds confidence, relevance, and new career opportunities..

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER

• Why staying in your lane can cost you visibility, advancement, and long-term career security

• 7 practical tips to develop adaptive thinking and take control of your career trajectory

• Why choosing curiosity, agency, and action is more powerful than waiting for recognition or permission

SUBSCRIBE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | AMAZON | PODBEAN | POCKETCASTS

DOWNLOAD GUIDE TO ADAPTIVE THINKING IN YOUR CAREER

DOWNLOAD TRANSCRIPT

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode two hundred and seven. I'm your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way. 

The workplace doesn't reward standing still. You know you need to change, to adapt, and to grow. But change feels risky when you've worked so hard to get where you are. You've invested years building your expertise, proving yourself over and over again, and the thought of doing anything differently feels like admitting defeat or having to start from scratch. But the truth is that staying the same is actually the bigger risk. While you're busy perfecting what you already know, your industry is evolving, opportunities are passing you by, and less experienced colleagues are leapfrogging past you because they're not as attached to doing things the way they've always been done.

In this episode, we explore why learning to adapt isn't just beneficial—it's essential for your survival and achieving the success you desire in your career. We'll dig into why adaptation feels so challenging, especially when you're already exhausted just trying to keep up with your day-to-day. We'll examine the real costs of staying in your lane, the professional pitfalls that make things worse, and the beliefs that keep you playing small.

We'll also talk about how to become an adaptive thinker, what that actually looks like in practice, and the strategies that make navigating change feel less overwhelming and more like an adventure. Because the ability to adapt—where you're able to think on your feet, to question assumptions, and to let go of what's no longer serving you—is the most valuable skill you can develop. And yes, it's a skill, not a personality trait you either have or don't have. It's a skill you can learn and practice until it becomes second nature. 

In your workplace, you may have noticed that hard work doesn't automatically translate to recognition or reward. In fact, sometimes it feels like it doesn't translate at all. You've watched your colleagues get promoted because someone sees their potential while you're still being asked to prove yourself despite a track record of results. You've sat in meetings where your ideas are ignored until someone else repeats them five minutes later and suddenly they're brilliant. You've done the work, hit the targets, gone above and beyond, and yet somehow you're still not getting the visibility, the opportunities, or the advancement you deserve. The rules don't seem to apply to everyone in the same way and playing by them isn't getting you ahead. 

So, what do most of us do? We double down. We work harder. We think if we just keep doing what we're doing, eventually they'll notice. We think our great work will speak for itself. 

But here's what actually happens: you get really, really good at what you're already doing. You become the go-to expert in your narrow area of expertise. And while that might feel like progress, what you've actually done is put yourself in a box. 

Your organization loves this, by the way. They want you to stay in your lane because it's convenient for them. They know exactly what to expect from you. They can rely on you to handle things, and they don't have to think about having you move on to something more challenging, requiring them to find someone else to do what you've always done. Meanwhile, you're getting more and more locked into what you've been known for, and any thought of changing direction starts to feel impossible. 

This is where the resistance to change really kicks in. Change is scary because we fear the unknown. We like what's familiar because it's comfortable and it's what we know. And when you've invested years—sometimes decades—building expertise in a specific area, changing feels like throwing all that work away. It feels like starting over. It feels like admitting that maybe you made the wrong choice somewhere along the way. 

So, we stay put. We tell ourselves we're being strategic, that we're building depth instead of broadening our skill set, and that specialization is valuable. And sure, it can be—until it isn't. Until your specialized role becomes obsolete or the industry shifts and suddenly your deep expertise in one narrow area isn't enough to keep you relevant. 

On top of all of this is what's going on in our own heads. Because the beliefs that keep us stuck are sneaky. They sound reasonable. They sound like wisdom. They might sound a little like this, "I've worked too hard to change direction now", or "I need more skills before I can make a move", or "People will think I'm unreliable if I pivot", or another favorite, "Now isn't a good time". 

There's always an excuse, some perfectly logical reason why now isn't the right moment. You're too busy. You have too many commitments. You need to finish this project first. You need one more certification. You need to pay off your student loans. You need to wait until your kids are older. You need to wait until the economy improves. You need to wait until you feel more confident. 

The problem is the timing will never feel perfect. There will always be something that makes staying put seem like the safer choice. And the longer you wait, the harder it becomes to make that leap. 

Here's something nobody talks about: at some point after thirty, that feeling of "I can't" becomes even stronger. There's this weird psychological shift that happens where you go from feeling like you have all the time in the world, to feeling like your options are closing in on you. Suddenly, you're not that promising young professional anymore. You're established. You're supposed to have it all figured out. Changing course starts to feel like something only younger people can do, like you've somehow missed your window. 

But that's complete nonsense. The only thing that changes after thirty is that you have more to lose—or at least more that you think you have to lose. In reality, you also have more experience, more skills, more credibility, and more clarity by what you actually want. You're in a better position to make strategic changes, not worse. But you have to give yourself permission to do it. 

And that's the thing about permission—contrary to popular belief, you don't need anyone to grant you that permission to pivot. You don't need your boss's approval, your colleagues' support, or your family's understanding. Well, maybe that's only partially true. Those things are nice to have, but technically they're not required.

Give yourself permission to try something new, to be a beginner at something again, and to prioritize your own career trajectory over everyone else's misgivings. But recognize that this is only the starting point. 

Because here's what I've learned: permission is one thing, but execution is another. Even if you've given yourself permission to try something new, if you don't actually do anything with it, nothing changes. 

Unfortunately, the professional consequences are real if you don't learn to adapt, and they accumulate over time. You get pigeonholed in your narrow area of expertise while others advance into broader leadership roles. You become the person they call when they need that one specific thing, but you're not in the conversation for strategic opportunities or high-visibility projects. 

You watch colleagues who started around the same time as you, or later, move into positions with more influence, more autonomy, and yes, more money. And when your organization decides to restructure or downsize, guess whose specialized role is suddenly seen as expendable? Yours. Meanwhile, the people with broader skill sets, the ones who've demonstrated adaptability, who've shown they can handle complexity and change, they're the ones who survive and thrive. 

The personal toll is just as significant. There's this feeling of being stuck, of being bored because you're no longer challenged, so you're just going through the motions. You start to resent the work that used to energize you because it's become routine and your contributions go largely unnoticed. You lose confidence, not because you're less capable, but because you're watching the industry evolve without you. And it's hard not to internalize that as a personal failure. You become risk averse to the point of career paralysis. Every potential change feels too big, too uncertain, and too risky. So, you stay put. And every day, that gap between where you are and where you could be gets a little bit wider. 

In my experience, no one warns you about this because your organization wants you to stay in your lane. And the longer you oblige them, the more locked in you become. They've invested in developing your expertise in this one area, they rely on you for it, and they have zero incentive to help you grow beyond it. This is especially true for women in technical roles. There's research showing that women are more likely to be put in specialist roles, while men are groomed for generalist leadership positions. And guess which path leads to the executive suite? In many cases, it's not the specialist track. 

So, while you're busy becoming excellent at your technical specialty, your colleagues may be given more leadership opportunities and exposure to different parts of the business. They're building the broad skill set that makes them promotable, while you're becoming increasingly valuable, but also increasingly stuck. 

Now, let's talk about what makes it worse, because there are specific pitfalls you need to avoid. The biggest one is finding yourself in the complaining trap. And I get it. The situation is frustrating. It's unfair. The rules are different for women, and that's infuriating. But here's the hard truth: complaining without taking action keeps you stuck in a victim mentality where all you see is the stuff happening that you have no control over.

You can't control whether your boss recognizes your contributions. You can't control whether your organization has equitable promotion practices. You can't control whether your colleagues respect your expertise. But you can control what you can do about it. 

You get to decide whether you stay or go, and how you position yourself. You can control what skills you develop and what opportunities you pursue. So, instead of dwelling on the unfairness—which, yes, is very real—now is your chance to figure it out.

Figure out what you can do differently. Figure out what you need to learn. Figure out what your next move is. Do yourself a favor and channel that frustration into action. 

Another pitfall is waiting for external validation or waiting for permission that will never come. Are you waiting for an invitation to step up, or waiting for your boss to tap you on the shoulder and tell you that they think you're ready for more responsibility? This is where I have to ask, why are you waiting? Seriously, ask yourself that question. What are you waiting for? Because I can tell you right now, nobody is coming to rescue you. 

Nobody is going to hand you the career that you want. Nobody is going to recognize your potential and magically open doors for you. That's just not how this works. Your organization benefits from you staying the same. Your colleagues who feel threatened by your competence definitely benefit from you not wanting more. So, if you're waiting for their permission or their encouragement, you're going to be waiting a long time. 

This includes waiting for your skills to magically improve before you make a move. Do you hear yourself saying, "I'll apply for that role once I feel more confident", or "I'll start that side project once I've taken a few more courses", or "I'll put myself out there when I'm really ready"? That's all well and good, except you're never going to feel fully ready. 

Confidence doesn't come before taking action—it comes from taking action. You build confidence by doing the thing that scares you and surviving it. By trying something new and figuring it out as you go. By being willing to be imperfect, to ask questions, to learn by doing. So, stop waiting for the perfect moment when you have all the skills and all the confidence and all the support, because that moment may never come. 

Here's what else makes things worse: letting other people define what you deserve. As I've said, your organization has a vested interest in keeping you right where you are. Your colleagues, who are uncomfortable with your evolution, will try to hold you back, often unconsciously. They'll remind you of how things have always been done. They'll question why you're thinking of going in a new direction. They'll make comments about how you've changed, and they won't mean it as a compliment. Do not let people weaponize the old you against the new you. When someone says, "You've changed", the correct response is, "Thanks for noticing. I've really been working hard at making some changes and improving." 

Remember, to change is to adapt to the challenges you’ve faced. It's growth. It's evolution. It's what healthy, ambitious people do. And your job is not to make other people comfortable with your growth. Your job is to make it happen. 

Most people think mechanically, habitually, reactively, and unimaginatively. They go through their days on autopilot, responding to situations the same way they always have, never questioning whether there might be a better approach. This can be called 'mediocre thinking', and it's the default mode for most of us in the workplace.

People are unable to think adaptively because they don't even realize they can. They assume that the way things are is the way things have to be. They see constraints instead of possibilities. They follow the script they've been given instead of writing their own. 

And if you're thinking this way, you're going to get left behind. Not because you're not smart enough or hardworking enough, but because you're not flexible enough. You're not scanning your environment, looking for opportunities, questioning assumptions, and adjusting your approach based on what's actually happening around you. 

So, what's the alternative—becoming an adaptive thinker. And this is where it gets interesting. Because adaptive thinking might be a completely different approach to navigating your career. An adaptive thinker takes an investigative approach to situations. Instead of reacting habitually or following the established playbook, they stay curious about the situation. They think on their feet. They deal with things in a way that best suits their needs and purposes. They're continually exploring their world, looking for new, novel and interesting aspects to focus their attention on. They ask questions, a lot of questions. They have a habit of gathering bits of information, piecing together patterns to understand how things really work beneath the surface. 

Here's what's fascinating about adaptive thinkers: they create opinions sparingly and have little difficulty revising them when new information becomes available. Think about how different this is from the way most people operate. Most people form strong opinions quickly and then defend them at all costs, even when presented with contradictory evidence. They dig in. They double down. They refuse to admit they might have been wrong. 

Adaptive thinkers do the opposite. They hold their opinions lightly. They're willing to admit that based on what they knew at the time, they thought one thing, but now they're seeing things differently, so they are willing to revise their position. This intellectual flexibility is incredibly valuable because it means you're never stuck defending a position that no longer makes sense. You're free to pivot based on your new understanding. 

Adaptive thinkers freely question the status quo. They look at things and ask, "Could this be different? Should it be different? What would happen if we changed it?". They spot hidden assumptions, the things everyone takes for granted without understanding exactly why they came to be. They're able to say, "I don't know", simply and unapologetically. There's no pretense of expertise that they don't have. No fake-it-till-you-make-it posturing, just honest acknowledgment of what they know and what they don't. And here's the key: they're confident in their ability to deal with new situations once they learn whatever it is they need to know. They don't need to know everything up front. They trust that they can figure it out as they go. 

When adaptive thinkers encounter gaps in their knowledge, they deal with it by finding someone to help them fill it. They don't claim to be an expert, so they don't have to pretend to be one. They can admit what they don't know, ask for help, learn from people who know more, and can move forward.

This is so much more effective than the alternative, which is pretending you know everything and then scrambling to maintain that illusion. When you're not pretending to be an expert, you're free to actually learn and grow. 

Adaptive thinkers also have this remarkable ability to adapt rapidly to situations as they unfold before them. They observe their surroundings to see who's there, what they're doing, and how they're interacting with one another. What are they trying to do? What overall meaning or structure have they given the situation? What factors are coming into play? What options do they have for playing a part in what's going on? This is what it means to think on your feet. You're not following a script, you're reading the room, assessing the dynamics, and adjusting your approach in real-time based on what's actually happening, not what you expected to happen.

So, how do you develop this capacity for adaptive thinking? It starts with adopting an investigative approach to your career and your workplace. Instead of just showing up and doing your job the same way you've always done it, start by asking some questions, if only to yourself. Why do we do it this way? Who benefits from this approach? What assumptions are we making here? What would happen if we tried something different? Pay attention to how decisions get made, who has influence, what actually matters versus what people say is most important. 

Gather information, create opinions sparingly, and be willing to revise them. Don't get attached to being right. Focus your attention on finding out what's actually true. 

Challenge all assumptions—especially your own. That belief that you need five more years of experience before you're ready for a leadership role? Question it. That assumption that you have to stay in technical work because that's what you're good at? Challenge it. That idea that changing careers at this stage would be starting over? Is that actually true? 

Look at things and actively consider whether they could or should be changed and what the results might be if they were. This is how you spot opportunities that other people miss. This is how you create options for yourself instead of waiting for something to be handed to you.

Get comfortable admitting when you don't actually know the answer, like, "I don't know but I can find out", or "I don't know for sure but here's how I would approach figuring it out", or "I don't know but I'd love to learn more about that". Choose one that sounds like you. Practice it. Make it your default response when you genuinely don't know something instead of trying to bluff your way through it or making something up. This honesty creates trust, it creates learning opportunities, and it frees you from the exhausting performance of pretending to know everything. 

Then, fill your knowledge gaps strategically. When you identify something you need to know, go find someone who can help you learn it. Don't wait for there to be a formal training session offered. Find a colleague who's good at it and ask if you can buy them a coffee and have them teach you a thing or two. Find a mentor who's navigated a similar transition or join a professional community where you can ask questions and learn from people who've been there. Be proactive about your own development instead of waiting for your organization to develop you. 

And, as I've said before, start before you're ready. You cannot be all talk with no action. You have to start doing the things that seem scary. You have to take that first step even though you can't see the second or third steps yet. Trust that you'll figure out what's next when you get there. You can't have the new career, the new opportunity, or the new version of you until you leave behind what you're in and fully let it go. Taking that leap is scary. All beginnings are hard, but staying stuck is so much worse in the long run. 

Sometimes, this means letting go fully. You can't always have one foot in your old career and one foot in your new direction. You can't always hedge your bets by staying in the comfortable role while dabbling in something new on the side and hoping it magically transforms into a full-time opportunity. Sometimes it will, but at some point you have to commit. You can do a lot to put a safety net in place, but eventually you have to let go of what's familiar and leap into the unknown. This is terrifying. I'm not going to pretend it's not, but it's also exhilarating. Look at this change as an adventure—as a chance to try something new, or as an opportunity to discover what you're capable of when you're not playing it safe. 

Cultivate curiosity. Make it a practice. Continually explore your world. Look for new and interesting aspects of any situation you encounter. Ask 'what if' questions. Wonder about how things work and why they work that way. You must enable your curiosity to adapt effectively. Without it, you're just reacting to whatever happens instead of actively investigating and creating possibilities for yourself. 

What people tend to overlook is that no one can tell you what you 'should' do. It's not their place to map your career. They can offer advice, they can share their experiences, and they can point out options you might not have considered—but the decision is yours alone.

Only you know what feels right for you. Only you know what you're willing to risk and what you're not. It's up to you to determine what success actually means to you versus what other people think it should mean. 

So, stop looking for someone else to make these decisions for you. Stop waiting for permission. Stop seeking validation for your choices, and instead, trust yourself. 

You also can't stop growing just to make other people comfortable. We should all want to change and want to improve. Growth should be celebrated, not suppressed. But the reality is that your growth will make some people uncomfortable. It challenges their assumptions about who you are and what you're capable of. It forces them to question their own choices. It can sometimes change the dynamic of your relationships, and some people will not like that. 

They'll express concern that you're making a mistake. They'll remind you of how good you have at where you are. They'll question whether you're really ready for this change. Do not sacrifice your evolution for their comfort. Their discomfort is not your problem to solve. 

Adaptation is a test of your desire. How much do you want it? It's not about how smart you are or how credentialed you are. It's not how much potential your boss thinks you have. It really comes down to how much you want it. Because the obstacles are real, and so are the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty. 

And when it gets hard—and it will get hard—that's when you find out exactly what matters to you. That's when you discover whether you want this thing you say you want enough to push through the fear, the doubt, the criticism, and the inevitable setbacks. Most people quit when it gets uncomfortable. Adaptive thinkers keep going because they've decided that the discomfort of change is preferable to the slow suffocation of staying stuck. 

The habit of adaptive thinking can be learned. You already have the capacity to think in this way, and you've probably done it before in other areas of your life, without even realizing it. Most people just don't recognize that they can apply the same approach to their careers. They think they have to follow the prescribed path, check the boxes, and wait their turn. But you don't. You can think adaptively about your career. You can experiment, adjust, pivot, try new things, question assumptions, and create your own path. It's a practice, not a personality trait. And you get better at it by doing it. 

But don't expect that the fear will ever fully go away. If you're anything like me, you're afraid of what other people will think or what they'll say, whether you'll fail, whether you'll look foolish, and even whether you're making a huge mistake. The fear is real and it's valid. 

The difference between people who adapt and people who stay stuck isn't that the adaptive people are fearless, it's that they do it anyway. Courage isn't the absence of fear—it's taking action despite the fear. It's saying, "I'm scared and I'm doing this anyway because staying here for much longer is scarier than making a leap, no matter how it turns out."

Sometimes, it's an external circumstance—a layoff, a restructuring or a market shift that makes your role obsolete. Sometimes it's internal—a growing feeling of boredom, of being in the wrong place or of having outgrown what you're doing. And sometimes it's not a choice, it's a need. You need to change because staying the same is no longer sustainable. When you try something new, you get new results, you're building new capabilities, you're expanding your range, and you're creating options for yourself.

Change is not fun. Let's just acknowledge that right now. It's uncomfortable, it's messy, and sometimes it's inconvenient. It means that what's comfortable is not going to be what prevails. You can't coast. You can't rely on muscle memory. You have to think, learn, adjust, fail, and pick yourself up and try again. It's a lot more effort because you're no longer doing what you've always done. 

But here's the thing: stagnation isn't much fun either. It's soul-crushing. It's the slow erosion of possibility and self-confidence. It's watching opportunities pass you by. It's knowing you're capable of more and doing nothing about it. So, pick your hard—the hard of change or the hard of staying stuck. Both are difficult, but only one leads somewhere better. 

If you're afraid of being downsized, then take control and act. Don't wait for the decision to be made for you. Look at your situation objectively. If your role is vulnerable, if your skills are becoming less relevant, if your organization is moving in a new direction that doesn't include you, now is the time to face it. Then, do something about it. Update your skills. Expand your network. Explore other opportunities. Position yourself differently. Take control of your career trajectory instead of hoping things work out. 

It's your life. It's within your power to change it. It's not always easy, and it's not without risk or discomfort or effort, but it is within your power. You are not stuck. You are not trapped. You are not at the mercy of your organization's whims or your industry's trends or or your manager's limited vision of what you're capable of. You have agency. You have options. You have the capacity to adapt, to learn, to grow, and to change direction. The question isn't whether you can—it's whether you will. 

Adaptation isn't about abandoning who you are or what you've built. It's about refusing to let your past success become your future limitation. Recognize that your ability to adapt is your competitive advantage. You don't need anyone's permission to start thinking in this way. You don't need perfect timing. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to take that first step, that one you can see right now, and then trust the rest will unfold as you go.

And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Adaptive Thinking in Your Career at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode two hundred and seven.

Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com. 

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.  

Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.