204. One Chance To Make a First Impression
- cindyesliger
- 1 day ago
- 11 min read
First impressions shape how others experience us long before we speak, and whether we like it or not, our presence influences our professional trajectory. We often tell ourselves that what’s on the inside should matter most, yet we know that our posture, tone, energy, and appearance determine whether others see our competence and credibility. When we align our inner strengths with how we show up externally, we stop sabotaging ourselves and start influencing how others perceive us.
When we disregard our image, our posture, our expressions, our tone—we make it harder for others to see who we really are.
Are you feeling overlooked at work even though you know you’re qualified and capable? Are you unintentionally sending signals that contradict your confidence and credibility? Are you relying on your work to “speak for itself,” while your presence may be saying something else entirely?
You’ll learn that first impressions are formed in seconds, and while we can’t control how quickly people judge, we can influence what they experience when we walk into a room. Small, intentional shifts in how we carry ourselves can dramatically change how we’re perceived professionally.
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
Why professional presence matters more than we want to admit
5 practical strategies to refine your presence without pretending to be someone you’re not
Why alignment between our inner strengths and outer presentation is critical
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TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode two hundred and four. I'm your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way.
Many of us have grown up hearing the same well meaning phrase, "It's what's on the inside that counts". And yes, that's partially true. Our intelligence, our values, and our integrity—those are the things that shape our character and define who we are. But when it comes to our careers, especially where visibility and credibility are already uphill battles, what's on the outside matters, too. The way we carry ourselves—our posture, expression, tone of voice, and even what we choose to wear—often determines whether people take us seriously, before we even get a chance to demonstrate what's on the inside. Ignoring that reality puts us at a disadvantage.
In this episode, we're unpacking the uncomfortable but critical truth that first impressions can quietly make or break our professional trajectory. We'll talk about why presence matters and what subtle cues you might be sending without realizing it. More importantly, we'll explore some of the most common consequences of neglecting your professional presence, the red flags to watch out for, and some smart strategies to help you take back control—without pretending to be someone you're not. If you've ever felt like your work should speak for itself, but somehow you keep getting passed over or underestimated, this one is for you.
It's true that we have one chance to make a first impression. And, a judgment is made in seconds, generally before we've even had a chance to say a word. Our intelligence, our integrity, our intentions—those things matter deeply. But, let's be honest with ourselves for just a moment. The whole idea that our 'inside matters most' is also incredibly convenient when we're feeling insecure about our outsides.
It's something we tell ourselves when we feel a little bit frumpy or out of place. When the thought of figuring out how to 'look the part' feels exhausting, we double down on the belief that our value is in our brains, our character, our priorities, and our passions. And yes, that's true. But it's not the whole truth.
Because like it or not, what we show on the outside counts, too.
Some experts say it takes less than thirty seconds to form a solid impression of someone. Others argue it's less than one second before people begin to develop opinions about your trustworthiness and likability.
Let that sink in for a moment. Less than a second. That's not even enough time to say hello, let alone dazzle them with your amazing intellect. You can't even blink before assumptions are already in motion.
And once those first impressions are made, they stick. Unfortunately, they're not easily undone. They influence everything—how people treat us, the opportunities we're given, whether someone takes us seriously in a meeting, or whether we're dismissed before we've even said a word.
In any profession, disregarding how we show up is a form of self-sabotage. It's not just about appearance—it's about presence. It's about how we carry ourselves, the energy we bring into a room, and the subtle (and not so subtle) cues that others are picking up on before we even get a chance to pitch an idea.
People are forming opinions about us based on:
Body language
Facial expressions
Eye contact (or lack thereof)
Whether or not we smile
Our posture
The way we shake hands
How we dress
Tone, pitch and volume of our voice
The interest we express while listening
The mood and emotional state we project
And, let's not forget, the confidence we exude
Now, caring about all of this may feel superficial. You might be tempted to roll your eyes and say, "Seriously? Haven't we moved past this?". But here's the thing—these cues aren't trivial. They are communication tools, and they shape how others interpret us.
These external traits influence whether we come across as trustworthy, competent, powerful, credible, personable, professional, energetic, detail-oriented, or even creative. They speak volumes about us. And, when we wield them intentionally, they give us the opportunity to shine. But when we ignore them, they can disqualify us before we even get the chance to prove ourselves.
Is it fair? No. Is it real? Absolutely.
I'm as unhappy as you are that we're judged so quickly, and that our credibility can be influenced by something as seemingly irrelevant as our outfit or the firmness of our handshake.
But, it still happens. Whether we like it or not, we live in a world where people crave shortcuts for understanding others, and we do it, too. It's how our brains are wired. We look for patterns by using visual and behavioral clues to help us make sense of the people around us.
I know I've made snap judgments based on someone's vibe, body language, or tone before they've even finished introducing themselves. And if you're honest, I'm sure you've done it, too. So, rather than whining about it, we can either work with it or let it work against us.
Here are five costly consequences of ignoring how you present yourself in the workplace:
We get underestimated: If our presence doesn't match their idea of professionalism, they may assume we're not ready, not experienced, or not credible—even when that couldn't be further from the truth.
We get overlooked: If we don't command space in a room, we'll fade into the background. And if no one sees you, no one will think to invite you to be part of the project team.
We get misunderstood: Cordial might read as cold. Hesitant might read as unsure. Quiet might read as disengaged. It's a game of perception, and without clarity in your presence, others will fill in the blanks.
We send mixed signals: If your resume says rockstar but your posture screams insecurity, people won't know what to believe, and when they're confused, they may default to simply disbelief.
We miss our chance to connect: If we're closed off, unexpressive, or overly polished, we might miss opportunities to be relatable, build rapport, and create trust, which is often the foundation of career momentum.
They may have read all about your credentials and been suitably impressed, but remember, people tend to say a lot of things on their resumes and even stretch the truth a little. And, before they have a chance to be dazzled by your brilliance, they see how you present yourself. That's the first impression, and pretending that doesn't matter doesn't make it less true.
Your presence says, "Here's who I am and this is how I move through the world".
The good news? You don't have to change who you are. You just have to stop letting your outsides contradict the power of your insides.
This is not about dressing for someone else's gaze. This is about alignment.
Do your clothes elevate and support who you are, or do they distract from it?
Does your presence invite connection or shut it down?
Are you saying, "I belong here" with the way you present yourself, or are you subconsciously apologizing for taking up space?
You don't need to be flashy or wear the most expensive clothes. You don't need to force a style that doesn't feel like you. But you do need to take ownership of how you show up.
Because when you do, you're giving people a clearer path to getting to know the real you—the smart, driven, values-led you who deserves to be seen. And yet, most of us don't exactly know how we're coming across. We're afraid of seeming insecure, so we fake confidence, and that comes across as arrogance. We're afraid of seeming unprofessional, so we keep everyone at arm's length, and that reads as unapproachable.
All these mixed messages aren't doing us any favors.
Take some time to get to know your habits. Notice your posture and your facial expressions. Remind yourself to smile, at least occasionally. Be aware of your go-to coping mechanisms when you're stressed. And then, align them. Because developing your professional presence is important. And you're not just here to be seen—you're here to be understood.
This is where many of us get tripped up. We think working on our presence means we have to be 'on' all the time, that we need to perform a version of ourselves that doesn't feel authentic or sustainable. But presence is about asking ourselves:
What do we want people to remember about me when I leave the room?
Am I coming across the way I think I'm coming across?
Does my exterior give people a glimpse of the real me?
Because if your body language, voice, energy, and appearance are blocking people from seeing your strengths, then you're building a wall instead of building a bridge. That doesn't serve you. It keeps you hidden. And, it doesn't give anyone a chance to see the greatness you have to offer.
And listen, I get it. Not everyone wants to be the most expressive person in the room. But this isn't about becoming someone you're not—it's about dialing up the parts of you that are already strong and aligning your communication (both verbal and nonverbal) with your values, skills, and goals.
Here are five key strategies that can help you refine your presence:
Start with One Small Change: Just start by observing one thing you do habitually that may not be serving you. Do you avoid eye contact when you're nervous? Do you fidget with your hands when you speak? Do you tend to mumble your name during introductions? Pick one. Now, experiment with it. Try holding eye contact for two extra seconds (not too long because that's just creepy). Keep your hands relaxed and maybe hold a mug to keep them steady. Or, practice a strong, clear, non-rushed way of saying your name and title. These tiny shifts compound over time—and people will notice.
Let Your Clothes Work For You, Not Against You: Again, this isn't about dressing to impress others; it's about dressing in a way that expresses respect—for yourself and for the setting you're in. Ask yourself: do my clothes help or hinder how I want to be perceived? Do they help me feel confident and grounded? Are they consistent with the image of someone ready to lead, contribute, or collaborate? This doesn't mean wearing what's trendy or expensive. It means choosing clothes that fit, both literally and figuratively; dressing for the role you want, not the one you're tolerating; consider comfort and practicality, especially if you're on your feet all day in a lab, have to conduct site visits, or lead client presentations. Looking put-together means knowing what message your clothes are sending and choosing to make it intentional.
Use Eye Contact, Posture, and Your Smile As Tools: These are three of the most powerful nonverbal communication tools we have at our disposal, and they cost us nothing. Eye contact says, "I see you. I'm engaged. I'm good at what I do." Good posture says, "I belong here." A genuine (not forced) smile says, "I'm open. I'm approachable. I'm present." And as an added bonus, they can help you feel more confident, too. Your physiology influences your psychology. So, when you stand taller, look people in the eye, and smile, you don't just seem more confident, you feel more confident, too. If you feel awkward at first, that's okay. It'll come with practice. Remember, confidence is a side effect of doing uncomfortable things consistently, not a prerequisite for starting.
Use Your Hands With Purpose: Fidgeting is common and completely normal. But, if you're playing with your rings or nervously clicking a pen, these can be a big distraction. So, it's time to intervene. Here's a trick: If you're fidgety, use a pen to take notes during the conversation, even if you don't need them. It may be old school, but it grounds you and it keeps your hands occupied in a way that looks engaged rather than anxious. What we do with our hands impacts how much of our message lands and whether people trust that we believe what we're saying.
Don't Perform Confidence, Build It: This is a big one. People who come across as the most confident aren't faking it. They know who they are. They've practiced managing their nervous system in high-stakes moments. They aren't bluffing their way through meetings with a puffed chest and clipped tone—they're breathing, grounded, and ready.
You don't have to be loud to be seen as self-assured. You don't have to dominate to be taken seriously. You do, however, need to own your space physically, emotionally, and mentally. That kind of grounded presence comes from doing the inner work and showing up intentionally on the outside. When we don't show up with intention, we often get in our own way. Even if we're talented. Even if we're doing all the right things on paper.
Getting skipped over for opportunities we're more than qualified for.
Being seen as 'not leadership material' based on superficial cues.
Getting left out of high-visibility projects because we seem disengaged.
Failing to build rapport with key stakeholders because we appear aloof, uninterested, or cold.
Feeling invisible, frustrated, and wondering why our work isn't being recognized.
And the worst part? We blame ourselves, but in the wrong way. We think, "Maybe I'm not cut out for this" instead of asking, "How am I showing up? And, is it aligned with what I want people to see and experience when they interact with me?".
When we disregard our image, our posture, our expressions, our tone—we make it harder for others to see who we really are. We obscure our best selves behind a fog of ambiguity, distraction, and unintentional signals.
You want to be taken seriously? Speak with clarity, dress with intention, and make eye contact.
You want to build trust? Listen attentively, nod, and ask clarifying questions.
You want to be remembered? Smile and engage.
Presence is how we help others get to know us. And if we truly believe that our value lies in who we are, then we owe it to ourselves to make it easier for others to see that. Before your next meeting, presentation, or networking event, ask yourself, "What impression do I want to leave and what do I want people to feel after interacting with me?". And then... try it.
Make one small change to your posture, your tone, or your expression. Watch what shifts. Notice how people respond. And, most importantly, pay attention to how you feel when you stop defaulting to invisibility and start choosing to influence how people experience you.
You don't need to be the loudest, flashiest, or most extroverted person in the room to have presence. You just need to show up intentionally. Presence isn't about volume—it's about resonance. Introverts can have a powerful presence through calm confidence, thoughtful listening, and a few strong, well-placed words.
Quiet leaders can command attention through clarity, empathy, and grounded energy. You don't need to change your personality—you just need to ensure that your energy and expression aren't sabotaging your goals.
While we've been taught to believe that it's what's on the inside that counts, the reality is that how we show up—through our presence, posture, and energy—often determines whether others get the chance to see our true value.
First impressions are powerful, but they're also something we can influence with small, intentional shifts in how we carry ourselves. When we align our inner strengths with how we present ourselves externally, we not only show up with confidence—we give others every reason to believe in us, too.
And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Making a Powerful First Impression at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode two hundred and four.
Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.
Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.
