190. Bring Clarity to Chaos
- cindyesliger
- 4 days ago
- 13 min read
Saying yes too often can quietly sabotage our energy, focus, and progress by leaving us buried under responsibilities that were never truly ours to carry. When we start recognizing the warning signs of these “work albatrosses,” we can set boundaries, have courageous conversations, and protect our well-being. By reclaiming clarity, we free ourselves to do work that fuels rather than depletes us, building careers aligned with what truly matters to us.
If you’re someone who comes alive building systems, organizing information, or creating processes that turn chaos into clarity—that skill set is rare and ridiculously valuable.
Are you constantly saying yes at work, only to find yourself buried under tasks that drain your energy and enthusiasm? Are you feeling responsible for fixing other people’s messes and wondering when the chaos became your normal? Are you struggling to set boundaries because you fear being seen as uncooperative or “not a team player”?
You’ll learn that sometimes the exhaustion and overwhelm we feel at work aren’t signs of failure or lack of capability—they’re signals that we’re carrying responsibilities that were never ours to begin with. Recognizing these hidden burdens, or ‘work albatrosses’, helps us reclaim our energy, protect our focus, and realign our efforts with the work that truly fuels us.
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
Why identifying your ‘work albatrosses’ matters and how overcommitment quietly sabotages your progress, energy, and clarity
4 practical tips to help lighten your workload without burning bridges
Why learning to distinguish between work that energizes you and work that drains you is essential to building a sustainable, fulfilling career
SUBSCRIBE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | AMAZON | PODBEAN | POCKETCASTS
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and ninety. I'm your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way.
There's something seductive about saying yes to things at work. Sometimes, it's the rush of being seen as capable, reliable, or 'the one who gets things done'. Other times, it's simply a reflex fueled by guilt or the quiet fear that if you say no, you'll be seen as 'difficult' or 'not a team player'. So you agree. You say yes. You take it on. But somewhere along the way, you realize this thing is starting to feel like an albatross. The problem is, by the time you realize something is going to suck the life out of you, you're already in too deep.
In this episode, we're going to help you recognize the early warning signs – those subtle red flags that show up before the burden becomes yours. These hidden burdens that we'll call 'work albatrosses' don't just steal your time, they sabotage your focus, dim your spark, and derail your long-term goals. We're going to shine a light on those sneaky energy drains, unpack why we keep saying yes to them, and explore practical strategies to protect your energy, reclaim your clarity, and realign your work with what actually fuels you.
So, what is a 'work albatross'? Sometimes, these are the tasks that you take on because you didn't think you had a choice. It might be one of those chaotic projects with no clear owner, or stepping up to manage a project where a challenging, emotionally draining team has been assigned. In situations like these, we end up managing everyone else's expectations rather than our own.
Our energy gets spent trying to salvage what's left in an attempt to get a positive outcome when that might not even be possible or expected. Our efforts may be futile, and then there's less energy available for the work that truly lights us up – the kind that reminds us why we chose this career path in the first place.
If we're being honest, sometimes the working world can feel like absolute chaos. Between the project overload, back-to-back meetings, unclear expectations, and energy vampires otherwise known as colleagues – it's no wonder so many of us are quietly drowning in our own to-do lists. And yet, we normalize it. We act like feeling drained, distracted, or vaguely resentful is just part of being a high-achiever. We tell ourselves, "It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine." while gritting our teeth and adding yet another task to our already overloaded list of responsibilities.
But, what if it's not fine? What if the fog you're stuck in isn't from a lack of productivity, but from carrying too many burdens that aren't actually yours to carry?
Let's talk about these 'work albatrosses' – the invisible burdens that weigh you down more than you realize. You know the ones: the complex project you were dropped into because 'you're so good at organizing things'. Or, the client who drains your energy with their lack of understanding and never-ending demands. Or, that failing project in need of rescue because it's a nightmare and somehow now you're leading it. We tend to take on these albatrosses out of a sense of obligation, guilt, or fear. They're presented as a chance to demonstrate your leadership skills. But the truth? They're more like career quicksand.
Bringing clarity to chaos means getting brutally honest about what's actually on your plate, and more importantly, what shouldn't be. The clarity you're craving might not be about getting more done faster, but about figuring out what needs to be delegated, deprioritized, or dropped entirely.
Because when there's chaos in the workplace, it's often a sign of systemic dysfunction – poor communication, unclear roles, or invisible labor that disproportionately lands on the most competent shoulders, that just so happen to also be the most agreeable. You being the go-to person for all things needing special attention doesn't mean you're meant to solve everything. And when you're the one who sees the chaos and knows how to fix it, it's easy to slip into the mode where it's easier to just do it yourself.
It starts as a strength – your ability to bring structure to ambiguity, to create clarity out of overwhelm – but it can quickly morph into a full-blown coping mechanism. Especially for those of us who need a sense of control to manage our own stress. Been there, done that. And believe me, it's a hard habit to break.
In my own experience, project management was just something that came naturally to me. I'm the type of person who genuinely enjoys distilling complexity into checklists, frameworks, and elegant systems that hum with efficiency. It's just how I think. But here's the shadow side of that gift: I didn't know how to set boundaries around what I was willing (or able) to take on, because there was always so much to do, and I was good at it. It took me a while to recognize that what others saw as a superpower could also be an energy drain that quietly sabotaged my momentum, especially when I didn't protect myself from being everyone else's project fixer.
So, how do you know when you're dragging around a 'work albatross'?
Start by checking in with how you're feeling. When you think about this person, project, or responsibility:
Do you feel heavy in your chest, tight in your shoulders, or drained before you even start?
Does your energy drop when you imagine working on it?
Are you secretly hoping the project isn't awarded to your company so you won't have to deal with it?
If the project is in its early stages and you imagine it going forward, do you feel dread or resentment about having to work with the people involved or what achieving a successful outcome would require of you?
Now, imagine saying no to it, or setting a boundary around your role. Does a tiny bit of relief wash over you? That's your cue.
Because here's the thing – not all hard things are albatrosses. Some tough projects challenge you, stretch you, and yes, even stress you out – but they still light you up. You want them to succeed, even if they scare you. The effort is worth it. That's where you'll see professional growth.
But, then there are the other ones. The ones that make your anxiety surge. The ones where success feels like punishment. That's a 'work albatross'.
The real danger? These albatrosses don't just slow you down, they quietly siphon off your best energy and attention. And that's how they sabotage your momentum. You start procrastinating, second-guessing, or zoning out because your brain and your body know this is something you shouldn't be doing, or at least not doing alone. But you keep doing it anyway. Why? Because you feel responsible. Or worse, they've convinced you that you're indispensable.
And in male-dominated professions, where women often have to work twice as hard to get half the credit, there's even more pressure to prove ourselves by saying yes, taking it all on, and not complaining. But, just because you can do it all, doesn't mean you should. Especially if the cost is your well-being, your focus, or your future opportunities.
So, what can we do about it?
First, name it. Start identifying these types of burdens in your life – not to judge yourself for having them, but to stop pretending they don't exist.
Then, assess:
Is this a tough task that's stressful but energizing in some way?
Or, is this a soul-sucking commitment that you've been pushed into out of fear or obligation?
If it's the latter, it's time to make a plan to lighten the load – delegate, renegotiate, or, if necessary, have the hard conversation to start taking a step back or set some boundaries around what you can realistically do with the time you have available.
That can feel terrifying, I know. Many of us will do anything to avoid uncomfortable conversations, especially if there's a power dynamic at play. But avoiding it doesn't make it go away, and the longer you carry it, the heavier it feels.
Sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do isn't grinding your way through yet another task – it's stepping back and asking yourself, "Why am I doing this?". And maybe recognizing that this isn't yours to carry.
Here are four common warning signs to watch out for when it comes to identifying a potential 'work albatross' before it hijacks your energy or your calendar:
Lack of clear ownership: If you are being looped into something because someone has to do it, or no one seems quite sure who's actually in charge, guess what? You're probably about to be 'voluntold' into more than you bargained for.
Avoidant behavior from others: When people start not showing up for meetings, dancing around deadlines, or vaguely suggesting "you'd be great at this", that's not admiration. They're actually attempting to delegate that responsibility to you.
You're the only one excited – or the only one not: If everyone else looks miserable and you're the only one fired up, proceed with caution. Conversely, if you're the one feeling dread while others are weirdly enthusiastic, take a moment to reflect because something might be off.
There's a vague sense of dread: Maybe you can't quite articulate why, but you have some anxiety about taking this on. Pay attention. That's your intuition whispering, "Don't do it. Don't say yes."
These signals matter because once you've said yes, especially in certain workplaces, it can be really hard (and politically risky) to back out. Even if the project turns out to be a disaster, there's often an unspoken rule: If you agreed to it, you're stuck with it. The consequences for trying to renegotiate your way out of it later can be awkward, at best, and damaging to your reputation, at worst.
So, while you won't always catch an albatross in the making, learning to recognize patterns can save you a whole lot of time, energy, and stress.
Let's use a past albatross as data by asking yourself:
What made that project or task such a burden?
What signs were present early that I chose to ignore?
How did I talk myself into saying yes, when I really wanted to say no.
What would I do differently next time?
This isn't about beating yourself up – it's about building pattern recognition. Every frustrating, exhausting experience you've had can help you make wiser decisions in the future.
In my experience, once you start getting overloaded with these types of burdens, it's bound to continue until you do something about it. That 'something' usually looks like setting a boundary, renegotiating your role, or having that uncomfortable conversation with your boss that you've reached your limit.
But here's the truth: avoiding the uncomfortable conversation only makes that burden heavier. The longer you stew, the more resentment builds. And suddenly, you're daydreaming about quitting your job over a project that, if you'd spoken up sooner, maybe could have been reassigned or re-scoped.
So, let's talk about how to have the necessary conversations without torching relationships or spiraling into panic. Here are four tips for having a direct, respectful conversation:
Get right to the point: Respect the other person's time and your own energy. You don't need a ten-minute preamble. Just just say what needs to be said.
Clearly state the outcome you're hoping for: This isn't about venting. It's about getting to your desired resolution, recognizing that this may not happen as immediately as you'd like, so be prepared to be patient but firm about what you want and by when.
Mind your tone: You're aiming for honesty rather than hostility. This is not the time to burn bridges by stating some unreasonable ultimatum. Keep in mind that you will need their help to make this happen.
Keep it clear, not cruel: Directness can be kind. Clarity can coexist with respect. Say the hard thing gently but firmly, by talking about how you want to solve the problem rather than laying blame for how it came to be.
You could approach this conversation with a starter like this:
"I want to talk about something that's been weighing on me and I want to be direct because I value our working relationship, and want to be honest about where things are at...".
From there, state the issue. Describe the impact. Suggest a solution. And, be open to discussion. It doesn't have to be perfect – it just needs to be said.
Recognizing what energizes you matters just as much as knowing what drains you. It's not indulgent to focus on what lights you up. It's strategic. If you're someone who comes alive building systems, organizing information, or creating processes that turn chaos into clarity – that skill set is rare and ridiculously valuable. Most people would rather do anything else than create a repeatable workflow. But everyone benefits once it's there.
That doesn't mean you always have to be the fixer.
You are allowed to say no to projects that don't align with your strengths or stretch you in ways that feel more soul-sucking than skill-building. You can push back when you see chaos coming your way that doesn't belong to you – or that someone else is better equipped to handle.
And please, don't keep throwing good energy after bad just because you've already invested time. That's the sunk cost bias, not loyalty. Just because you started something, doesn't mean you're obligated to finish it, especially if it's clearly not working – or never should have been yours to begin with.
Get clear on what actually lights you up, by asking yourself:
What kind of work makes me feel more engaged, and less exhausted?
When do I feel like my contribution actually matters?
What kinds of projects or environments make me feel capable and respected?
Now, get clear on what doesn't light you up, by asking yourself:
What kind of work feels like punishment?
What leaves me feeling depleted before I even begin?
What makes me dread checking my calendar?
That contrast is what you're looking for.
Use it to start creating and enforcing boundaries that allow you to do more of the energizing work – and less of the draining kind. That might mean being more selective about what you say yes to. It might mean stepping back from something that's not aligned. Or, it might mean finally speaking up about what's not working for you.
Sometimes, 'work albatrosses' are inevitable. But remember, this too shall pass. Especially if you stop waiting for things to magically get better and start taking small, intentional steps toward what feels more aligned for you.
Bringing clarity to chaos isn't about being the 'organized one' who silently makes everyone else's life easier while slowly losing your mind. It's about protecting your energy. It's about honoring your career trajectory. It's about making the brave choice to stop carrying things that don't belong to you, just because you can.
You can't be the one rescuing every troubled project. You can control how much of that chaos you internalize.
And, if some of it absolutely must be dealt with, because it's part of your job, consider how you can automate, eliminate, or delegate the worst of it. Build systems that keep you out of the weeds. Create templates, checklists, and guides to turn the mess into something repeatable and shareable – and then let someone else use them to solve their own problems.
And maybe the biggest takeaway of all this is just because something feels like a burden to you doesn't mean it feels that way to someone else.
That project you're dreading? Someone else might be thrilled to take it on. That dynamic you find emotionally draining? Someone else may navigate it with ease. You don't have to be the hero. You don't always have to push through. You're allowed to pass those things on to someone else.
So, ask yourself:
What am I currently carrying that feels like an albatross for me?
Who else might be better suited for this?
What would I do differently if I weren't trying to be so accommodating?
Then, choose your next step. Maybe you finally have that conversation you've been avoiding, to ask for the help you need. Or, maybe you make a list of what needs to be done, by when, and by whom, because surely, there's someone else who could be doing some of it.
And, even if you still end up doing everything all on your own, you'll have more clarity. And that clarity creates momentum.
Navigating overwhelm, protecting your energy, and avoiding hidden burdens isn't about perfection. It's about intention. It's about choosing what's yours to carry and letting the rest fall on someone else's shoulders.
Because you deserve to do work that lights you up. You deserve to be recognized for the value you bring. And, you deserve to set down anything that's been dragging you down out of obligation, guilt, or fear.
You don't have to carry everything, just because you can.
You'll still get roped into the occasional mess. That's life. But, with a little more self-awareness, a few smarter strategies, and the courage to say no, or not this time, you'll carry fewer albatrosses and regain the energy to focus on what actually matters.
And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Lightening The Load at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and ninety.
Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.
Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.
