236. Reclaiming the Joy of Small Victories
Our biggest wins at work are often scarce, but the small ones still deserve to be noticed and celebrated instead of waiting on someone else's applause. We build momentum by focusing on effort over outcome, letting daily wins accumulate into real career growth, while recognizing that a job title alone can't capture everything we are. Balance isn't really the goal for us; aligning our trade-offs with what matters most right now is what makes us feel fulfilled.
When we do that, when our job has to be our whole source of meaning, of community, of stimulation, of identity—it's no wonder work stops feeling like enough, no matter how well it's going.
Are you finishing task after task without ever pausing to notice, let alone celebrate, what you've accomplished? Are you waiting for someone else to tap you on the shoulder and tell you that you did a great job? Are you letting your job title become the whole story of who you are, even when it's leaving you feeling flat?
You'll learn that shifting from outcome-focused wins (the promotion, the deal) to effort-focused wins (showing up and doing the hard thing) gives you something worth celebrating every single day, even when the big milestones are out of reach.
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
Why it’s key to decide in advance exactly how you'll celebrate a win
3 practical tips for finding ways to celebrate a small win
Why measuring your life across seven areas, not just your career, keeps a rough patch at work from feeling like your whole life has stalled
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TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode two hundred and thirty-six. I'm your host, Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way.
Did you finish something today that you've been avoiding? Did you send the email you've been putting off? Did you finally get through your inbox, or made it through a hard conversation without losing your cool, or you got to bed before midnight for once this week? If you're like most of us, you come up empty when you ask yourself at the end of the day what you did. It's not that you did nothing; it's just that once you finish one task, you tend to just move on to the next one.
In this episode, we're going to dive into why that happens, why we're missing out on something important to our own well-being by doing this, and what to do about it instead. As you may already know, tracking a professional win and celebrating that win are not the same thing. You can have a running list of everything you've accomplished this month and still feel completely flat about it. We're talking about reclaiming the joy in your small victories at work, and just as importantly, outside of it. Because, in my opinion, your work life and your real life aren't actually two separate lives. You have one integrated life and work is a big part of it. So the wins we're chasing, and the joy we're trying to reclaim, are more than what shows up on your resume.
The reality is that in the workplace, your big wins might be few and far between. Maybe the promotion is delayed. Maybe the shiny new project you were tapped to lead got shelved. Maybe you're in a season where the scoreboard just doesn't seem to reflect the effort you're putting into your work in a way that anyone can see from the outside. That's real, and it's frustrating, and I'm not going to pretend it isn't.
But here's what I've learned. When the big wins are on hold, the small wins matter more, not less. And it's not enough to just log them in a notes app and move on. You actually have to decide, in advance, how you're going to treat yourself when one shows up. It can't just be a vague notion, where you promise yourself you'll celebrate it, at some point, eventually. It's important to be very specific.
What's your version of a small celebration? It doesn't have to be a big, showy thing. It could be treating yourself to a good coffee at your favorite coffee shop instead of settling for the regular one in the break room. It could be watching a show, or an entire season, you actually want to watch, guilt-free. It could be sharing your win with someone you know will appreciate the effort that went into it and understand just how significant it is for you, even if it seems minor.
Decide how you will treat yourself now, before the win shows up, because if you wait until you're in the moment, you risk talking yourself out of it. You'll tell yourself that it's not a big deal and you'll skip right past it. Big wins may genuinely be few and far between right now—all the more reason to stop and appreciate the small ones when they show up, instead of letting them evaporate into thin air.
And here's the harder part. You cannot spend your whole career waiting for someone else to notice. I know that's not how we were taught to think about this. We were taught that if we just keep our heads down and do great work, someone will eventually see it and reward us. Sometimes that happens, but a lot of the time it doesn't—not because your work wasn't good, but because everyone around you is heads-down in their own work, and they aren't celebrating their wins either. If you're always waiting for the tap on your shoulder, to be told you did a great job, that public shout out—you might be waiting a long time, and you'll have spent that whole time feeling invisible.
So sometimes, you have to celebrate yourself. You have to draw attention to what you did. You have to make your accomplishments visible, on purpose. Because the workplace is busy and noisy, and if you don't explicitly tell people what you did, it gets buried under everything else that's going on. And when no one knows about the great work you're doing, someone else might get the credit. They might get the next shiny new project or the next exciting opportunity. Not because they deserve it more than you, but because they made their work known and you didn't.
We tend to be actively discouraged from doing this, but we are allowed to say, "This is what I do, I enjoy it, and I do it well". Many of us have been taught that saying this out loud is bragging, that it's somehow unbecoming, and that we should let our work speak for itself and stay quiet about what we're good at. I fell for that, but I don't buy that anymore. I think it's important to be able to confidently say, "Put me on that project because I'm good at this". Full stop. No hedging. Don't do what I did for a long time, diminishing yourself by saying stuff like, "I think maybe I could possibly help a little". That won't get you anywhere, believe me.
Because work can be fun. There can be real pleasure—I mean, actual joy—in doing something you know you're good at. That can really make work more enjoyable.
And the flip side of that is just as important, and it's really about self-awareness. It's just as powerful to say, "Don't come to me for that because that's not what I'm good at—go talk to so-and-so who is really good". That's not weakness. That's knowing yourself.
And I'd be remiss to not acknowledge that there is also another combination, where you know you can do something well, but you no longer want to be known for that because you want to keep challenging yourself. You may have the competence, but you no longer have the desire.
A lot of those professional goals we're chasing will take time to achieve. This isn't a sprint. It's more of a marathon, and sometimes you won't get a glimpse of that finish line for years. And staying motivated through something like this is genuinely hard, especially if you're measuring your progress only by the big outcome at the very end.
This is where a shift in what counts as a "success" really matters. It requires a shift from being outcome-focused to being more effort-focused.
An outcome-focused win is getting the promotion, hitting the revenue number, or closing the deal. Those are great, but they're rare and mostly out of your direct control because they depend on things like timing, budget, market conditions, other people's decisions, or a hundred other things you don't control.
An effort-focused win is showing up today and doing the hard, uncomfortable thing on your to-do list, having the difficult conversation you've been avoiding, putting in the focused hour of work, even though you didn't really want to. Your level of effort is something you actually control every single day, which means it's something you can actually win at on a daily basis.
This is where daily or weekly win rituals come in. It doesn't need to be complicated. At the end of the day, or at the end of the week, you ask yourself one question: what's one thing that went right? Write it down. Say it out loud. Tell someone if you know they'll appreciate how significant that is for you. The format doesn't matter as much as the consistency, because you're training your brain to look for evidence that things are working instead of defaulting to only focusing on what's still broken or unfinished.
Small wins build big careers. Nobody wakes up one day at the top of their field. It's built from thousands of these small, unglamorous efforts stacked on top of each other over the years, maybe decades. But that accumulation only works if you actually pause long enough to notice it as it happens. If you just keep sprinting from one task to the next, without ever acknowledging what you've done well, you rob yourself of the fuel that's necessary to keep you going. You can't just keep moving the goalposts and never look back at what you've already accomplished. Acknowledgement isn't a detour from productivity. It's part of what makes the next stretch of effort possible, and much more enjoyable.
I want to zoom out here, because part of why work wins can feel so heavy is that a lot of us have quietly let our job title become the whole story of who we are. And that's setting ourselves up for disappointment, because that's asking a lot of your work when there's so much more to who you are as a person.
You've probably heard the term "multi-hyphenate" in the context of describing a variety of things you do well. It can be used a lot more broadly, for anyone who holds multiple identities and specialties at once. And I think that's actually a really accurate description of most of us, whether we've claimed the various labels or not. You might be a project manager and a design engineer. All of that is part of your professional identity. But remember, there's also many other parts of you where you excel outside of work.
So, here's a permission slip: you're allowed to set identity goals across all of those areas, not just your professional ones. Because I think it's genuinely unrealistic to expect your job to fulfill every desire you have, tap every talent, satisfy every interest, and feel meaningful a hundred percent of the time. That's an enormous amount of weight to put on one part of your life. When we do that, when our job has to be the whole source of meaning, of community, of stimulation, of identity—it's no wonder work stops feeling like enough, no matter how well it's going.
So, let's talk about balance, because I think this is where a lot of the guilt lives.
Maybe you're feeling off. Maybe everything feels rushed, like you don't have enough time. Maybe you're feeling guilty that you're not doing some other thing, that someone else—whether that's your boss, your parents, even your own inner critic—thinks you should be doing. It feels like there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do, let alone everything you feel like you should be doing. And the instinct when that happens is to think, "I just need to step it up and work harder, do more, everywhere, all at once", so your life finally feels balanced again.
But here's the problem with that instinct: it's not possible to spend the exact same amount of time and energy on everything that needs your attention. Not this week, not any week. So, instead of trying to do everything equally, the real work is figuring out what your priorities actually are right now, and then being willing to make trade-offs—at least for a little while.
I want to be really clear that this isn't about ignoring one part of your life or depriving yourself in another. It's about acknowledging that you're free to focus on what matters most to you right now. But everything is a choice, and every choice you make in the real world has consequences. That's not meant to be a scary statement, it's just true.
Learning how to put the right amount of time and energy into each key area of your life, at the right moment for you, is a skill. It's not about trying to achieve perfect equal distribution. It's more about trying to find a sense of alignment, recognizing that things are in a constant state of flux.
And there will be seasons where a given area of your life might feel neglected. There will be other seasons when one area is soaking up much more of your time and energy than feels comfortable. That's normal. We all get off-kilter sometimes, and when we do, we feel out of balance. And honestly, we feel guilty about it. But most of us don't take a step back often enough to actually ask: where is all my time going, and what do I want to change so that my life feels more aligned with who I am, and what I actually value?
The research being done on happiness says the happiest people are not doing everything equally. I find this to be genuinely freeing because it's not even possible. The happiest people feel fulfilled because their actions line up with their values. And that's the key variable—alignment, not balance. Balance, in the way we usually picture it, might not exist. What exists is making intentional choices.
And the trade-offs you make on purpose aren't a bad thing. They can actually be empowering. When you make a trade-off—when you consciously decide that you're going to put less time and energy into this thing for now so that you can put more time and energy into this other thing—remind yourself why you're doing it. Because you're in charge of your life and your career. Your life isn't happening to you. You get to decide. Yes, your choices have consequences, but that's the price of it actually being your life and not someone else's script that you're blindly following.
Here's the catch though, and it's important to remember that our brains are wired to focus on what we're losing, not what we're gaining. We tend to fixate more on what's going wrong, rather than what's going right. So, when you make a trade-off—say less time with friends this month because your heads-down on a project at work—your brain will fixate on that friend time you're missing, and barely register the progress you're making on your career goals. It takes real, intentional effort to see things as they actually are, which is probably more balanced than your brain is telling you.
When you deliberately look at what you're gaining from a trade-off, it starts to feel more worth it. Making a trade-off is really just saying, "This is what matters to me right now and I'm okay with something else taking a backseat for a while". That's not deprivation, that's freedom. That's you building a life that actually feels meaningful, on your terms.
So, if work is only one piece of this puzzle, where else can you go looking for a small victory when work doesn't seem to be handing you one anytime soon? I think about life in seven areas:
Mental health
Physical health
Social health
Intellectual health
Financial health
Spiritual health
Professional health
Let's go through them one-by-one quickly, because each one provides an opportunity to find a win.
Mental health: This is usually the one that gets pushed to the back burner until it can't be ignored anymore, because we tend to prioritize productivity over self-care. But taking care of yourself doesn't take much effort. Even just ten minutes a day can genuinely move the needle. Ask yourself what small trade-off you'd make for better mental health—would you consider less screen time for better sleep a good trade-off? These types of small trade-offs tend to compound over time. You feel a bit better, you get a bit more energy, and that often makes you more motivated to keep investing in self-care. The alternative, where you end up neglecting your mental health, usually means you're forced to deal with it eventually, often at the worst possible time, when it can come at a huge cost to your career progression.
Physical health: This is about taking care of your body so you can actually function. It doesn't take much when you're young—moving your body, eating well, and getting enough sleep. Some people take this to extremes, and that's not always about health at all. But the small stuff has trade-offs too, so look at what you're gaining: a walk instead of more screen time, a healthier lunch you packed instead of getting takeout. These may seem small, but over time, it adds up. By doing these small things consistently, you remind yourself that you're someone who values taking care of your body now, so you don't run into trouble as you age.
Social health: The research says strong relationships are the single strongest predictor of both happiness and longevity. But this isn't only about the quantity of your relationships—you don't need a packed social calendar or a huge friend group. It's more about quality, where you focus on the relationships that matter most to you, in this particular season of your life. So ask yourself, what trade-offs are you willing to make to invest in the relationships that matter most to you, right now? Then, look for what's already going right in this facet of life, whether that's a good conversation, a friend who checks-in with you regularly, or a relationship that feels solid—and let that count as a small victory.
Intellectual health: I'm a big proponent of continuous learning, and that includes learning for the fun of it. Reading something because you wanted to, not because it's for work. This usually means trading-off a little screen time for something that actually engages your brain. It keeps your mind sharp, sparks creativity, gives you something interesting to bring into a conversation—and let me assure you, that matters more as we get older, not less.
Financial health: This isn't really about how much money you have; it's about whether how you use it lines up with what you actually value. When your spending matches your priorities, your stress goes down, even if the number in your bank account isn't where you'd like it to be. It's easy to feel like money just comes in and goes out, with no intentionality to it. Looking at your bigger goals—whether they include paying down debt or saving for something specific—and tracking that progress. This can help you feel like your life is more in your control. But here's the trap: when we feel deprived, we tend to spend more haphazardly. When we feel insecure, we're more likely to go into debt, trying to keep pace with what other people have. But when your spending aligns with your actual priorities, the trade-offs feel like freedom, not restriction.
Spiritual health: With this, I don't necessarily mean organized religion—I mean your connection to something bigger than the day-to-day. Maybe to you, it's having a sense of purpose. Most of us only think about this during a crisis, but you don't have to wait for that to happen. A few minutes of meditation, maybe creating a gratitude journal, or spending more time outside—these are the types of small rituals that ground you in your values and your purpose, without requiring much time at all.
Professional health: Yes, this might be the job you have that pays the bills, even if your real passion lives somewhere else—and that's okay. There will be seasons where you work longer hours to hit a deadline, because it's necessary, as long as it's temporary, and doesn't become the new normal. Professional health isn't just about working harder—sometimes it's working smarter, where you set boundaries, and you're more intentional about where your time and effort go, so work isn't consuming every spare moment. Nobody wants to become the person with no life outside of work, because that puts an impossible amount of pressure on your job to be your only source of satisfaction. In a given season, you might deliberately shift the balance for a while—and it's much easier to accept a trade-off like that when you know it's not forever and you will soon get to spend more time on the things you love outside of work.
So, here's the thread that ties all seven of these together: things are not always going to go your way at work. That's just how it is, and no amount of effort makes you immune to it. But work is only one facet of your life—albeit a big one and an important one—but it's still just one facet. Life is full of trade-offs, and if you look hard enough, you can almost always find a small victory somewhere—whether that's in a friendship, in sticking to your budget, in finding a few minutes to decompress when you're able to take a walk instead of scrolling on your phone.
When the workplace win is scarce, that doesn't mean there isn't a win available to you today. It just means you might have to look somewhere else for it.
So, here's what I invite you to do this week: pick one small win—it doesn't matter where it comes from, whether it's at work or otherwise—and actually celebrate it. Not later. Not "eventually". Do the thing you decided on. Have the good coffee, send the text to a friend to arrange a meetup, or indulge in a few minutes of guilt-free downtime. And while you're at it, notice which of these seven aspects of life it touches on, because I'd bet it's not always going to be in the professional realm. And that's exactly the point.
And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Finding Your Small Wins at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode two hundred and thirty-six.
Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.
Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.
