199. More Than You've Ever Imagined
- cindyesliger
- Jan 1
- 9 min read
Self-doubt quietly shapes how we show up at work, influencing our willingness to speak, stretch, and pursue opportunities. It often disguises itself as caution or preparation, convincing us to stay safe, silent, and small even when we are capable of more. By choosing action, reframing failure, and practicing intentional positivity, we begin to reclaim momentum and expand what feels possible for us.
You don’t build your confidence by doing more of the things you’re already good at.
Are you constantly telling yourself you’re “not ready yet,” even when opportunities are right in front of you? Are you downplaying your accomplishments, over-preparing, or second-guessing yourself at work? Are you feeling stuck in your career and wondering if you’ve already reached your limit?
You’ll learn that self-doubt doesn’t have to disappear for you to move forward, and that taking action—even when you don’t feel confident—can open doors you didn’t think were possible.
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
Why self-doubt is so dangerous when left unchecked and how it quietly shapes your decisions, visibility, and long-term career growth
5 practical strategies to counter self-doubt
Why waiting until you feel ‘ready’ keeps you stuck
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TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and ninety-nine. I'm your host Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way.
For so many of us, self-doubt isn't some loud, obvious obstacle. It's a quiet, persistent undercurrent. It shows up in the workplace in how we hesitate before speaking, how we downplay our accomplishments, and how we talk ourselves out of going after opportunities we're more than qualified for. It chips away at our confidence slowly, often disguised as logic, humility, or the need to be more prepared. The problem is, if we're not paying attention, that self-doubt can become a career-long habit, one that keeps us stuck, playing small, and second guessing every move we make.
In this episode, we're digging into what it really looks like to counter self-doubt—not by pretending it doesn't exist, but by reshaping how we respond to it. Making a subtle but powerful mindset shift can lead to the kind of career growth most of us didn't even think was possible. We'll break down the hidden costs of letting self-doubt run the show, how to spot the red flags before they derail your momentum, and why adopting what might feel like 'delusional positivity' could be the smartest move you make. Because believing in yourself isn't about being unrealistic—it's about choosing to build a version of your career that you actually want to experience.
For many of us, there comes a moment in our careers when we feel like we've hit a wall. You're looking around and thinking, "Maybe this is it. Maybe I've reached my limit." The promotions feel like they're going to other people. Your ideas are getting overlooked. And frankly, the effort it takes to keep showing up and pushing forward feels like it's sucking the life out of you.
But what if that so-called wall you think you've hit... isn't a wall at all? What if it's a door you just haven't figured out yet how to open?
We're talking about self-doubt—that slippery, sneaky voice that whispers, "You're not ready", or "You're not qualified", or the classic, "You're not enough". I'm sure I don't have to tell you just how powerful it can be. And left unchecked, it quietly limits your career growth. It convinces you to stay in your lane, stay silent, and stay stuck.
But what if instead of believing that voice, you tried something else? Something like a little positivity?
Because when you start reshaping your mindset—not pretending everything is fine, but actively choosing to encourage yourself instead of tearing yourself down—you might just achieve more than you've ever imagined.
Self-doubt doesn't show up randomly. And, if you're in a male-dominated field—like engineering, technology, construction, or finance—you're dealing with a workplace ecosystem that wasn't built with you in mind.
There's a chronic lack of role models who look like you.
There's systemic inequities that make you question whether your voice is welcome.
There's performance pressure so intense it makes you feel like any mistake will cost you your credibility.
And then there's the chronic lack of recognition of your work, where you feel the need to be doing twice as much for half the credit.
In these environments, self-doubt doesn't feel irrational, it feels like a reasonable response to what you're up against. But here's the catch: even if that feeling is understandable, it doesn't mean it's accurate or that you should let it dictate your career options.
Sometimes, self-doubt disguises itself. You may be dealing with self-doubt and not even know it because it tends to look like this:
Perfectionism, where you won't submit your work for review until it's flawless.
Procrastination, where you delay starting a task because you're convinced you'll mess it up.
Over-preparation, where you spend more hours than necessary prepping for a meeting where you'll be presenting for just a few minutes.
Second-guessing, where you revisit every decision over and over before making a move.
Staying too long, where you linger in roles that no longer challenge you or value your efforts.
And then, we get to the most common narrative of all which is, "I'm just not ready".
That phrase is one of the most dangerous lies we tell ourselves because it feels true. You tell yourself that you'll go for that promotion once you have more experience, or that you'll speak up in the meeting once you've double-checked whether your idea is valid with at least two other people, ahead of time. You don't want to take a chance that you'll be criticized, or worse, embarrassed.
But here's the problem: that time never magically arrives and opportunities don't wait around until you feel ready.
You try to earn your worth through effort instead of owning your value. So, you hustle harder, take on more, only to become exhausted faster.
You stay in your comfort zone. Not because it's fulfilling, but because the idea of trying something new, that isn't certain to succeed, feels terrifying.
You downplay your contributions, keeping your head down, and wait for someone else to notice. And unfortunately, they rarely do.
There are ways to spot your self-doubt creeping in, so be on alert for five of the most common red flags that self-doubt may be showing up and holding you back:
You're waiting to be 'picked': Instead of advocating for yourself, you sit back and hope someone notices and offers you the opportunity on a silver platter.
You discount praise or deflect credit: Stop saying, "Oh, it was nothing" or, "The team did most of the work". Learn how to accept the recognition for all the hard work you've done, confidently and proudly.
You over-apologize or hedge your ideas: Don't undermine yourself by starting every suggestion you make with, "I could be wrong, but..." or, "This might be a dumb idea, but here goes..."
You pass on opportunities because you don't have any direct experience: But, the truth is, you won't get any experience until you do the thing. That's how confidence is built.
You mentally beat yourself up for not doing things perfectly. You fixate on the one typo in your email instead of all the things you did right that day. You're hypervigilant that something is going to go wrong and you'll be blamed.
Individually, these signs might seem somewhat irrelevant, but together they build a narrative. One that says you're not as capable as you actually are. Once the narrative takes hold, it can slowly chip away at your self-confidence.
So, what can we actually do when we start to feel our self-doubt holding us back?
Here are five of the most effective strategies—and yes, one of them includes going after something that is more than you've ever imagined possible for you:
Reframe failure as growth: No one is good at things they've never done before. That's not a flaw. That's reality. If you mess up, you learn. If you stumble, you recalibrate. Failure is not the opposite of success; it's what helps get you there. So, reframe it. Mistakes aren't proof that you don't belong. They're proof that you're trying new things and demonstrating your willingness to improve.
Get out of your head and into motion: Self-doubt thrives in isolation, so let's not let this downward spiral begin because everything feels overwhelming. Talk it out with a mentor. Write it down in a journal. Say it out loud to a trusted colleague or friend. You'd be amazed how much power a thought loses when you write it down or say it out loud. That little bit of detachment helps you see how irrational it might be and get some perspective.
Focus on one brave action at a time: If you're feeling overwhelmed, simply ask yourself, "What's one thing I can control today that could move me forward in my career?". Maybe it's sending that email; booking the informational interview with someone who's in a role you'd like to have one day; or, applying for that opportunity that scares you, but also excites you. Small, brave actions done consistently create momentum. And momentum is everything.
Shape your mindset to be more encouraging: This one's big. Start catching yourself in the act of self-criticism and flip the script. Ask yourself, "Would I say this to a friend experiencing something similar?". If the answer is no, then you don't get to say it to yourself, either.
Practice a little positivity: If confidence feels too far away, try a little bit of positivity for a change, even if it feels slightly delusional, where you allow yourself to believe you have a shot at something that is more than you've ever imagined was possible for you. Tell yourself something like: "I'm the right person for this opportunity" or, "I know what I'm doing" or, "This challenge is mine to conquer".
Even if it feels slightly beyond your current capabilities—do it anyway. You don't build your confidence by doing more of the things you're already good at. It comes from trying something new, failing, and doing it again and again, until you master it. Think of it as a temporary suspension of disbelief in the service of your future self.
It can be hard to stay positive, especially in environments where you've been burned in the past. Cynicism feels smarter, safer, like it will protect you from getting blindsided again.
But, cynicism is often just trying to protect you from disappointment. And, while it might shield you from feeling that discomfort, it can't help you build anything new.
I want you to consider this: What do you really have to lose? I invite you to believe in yourself, just this once. Give it a try and see what happens.
Because believing in yourself isn't about ignoring reality. It's about choosing a version of the future that you want to live in. A version where you get to write the next chapter—not your fear, not your self-doubt, but you.
So, now what?
Well, you always have a choice to make: You can throw in the towel, or you can take one tiny action and start creating a little momentum for yourself. That might be all it takes to prove to yourself that you're not done, yet.
Self-doubt might still whisper, but you don't have to listen. Choose to believe in yourself, even if it's just for five minutes a day. That five minutes may be all you need to make a move that changes everything.
Because countering your self-doubt—really confronting it, challenging it, and refusing to let it win—might just lead you somewhere that's more than you've ever imagined. Maybe even better than what you've been conditioned to think you deserve.
We often believe that once we land the role, earn the title, or finally feel seen, our self-doubt will vanish. But the truth is, self-doubt tends to evolve with us. It wears new disguises—like imposter syndrome or hesitation to use your influence. What no one tells you is that you don't need to eliminate self-doubt to succeed—you just need to stop letting it make all your decisions.
So, maybe today's the day you ask: "Where in your career is your self-doubt holding you back?".
Then, take one action that feels slightly out of reach, whether it's applying for that new role you think you'd like, setting a healthy boundary to protect your energy, or maybe just raising your hand to ask a question when you're confused. You might feel like you're not ready, but do it anyway, even if you're scared, or maybe even especially if you're scared.
Because here's the thing: you might just surprise yourself. You just might be secretly capable of more than you realize. This just might be the nudge you need to try something new and exciting.
Countering self-doubt isn't about waiting until you feel confident—it's about choosing to take action anyway, even if your belief in yourself feels a little shaky (or even wildly delusional). Once you recognize how self-doubt disguises itself and understand the cost of letting it hold you back, you can start rewriting the story and reclaim your momentum.
You're more capable than you think, and when you finally believe in yourself, even for just a few minutes, you'll be able to create a version of your career that's better than you've ever imagined.
And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Counteracting Your Self-Doubt at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and ninety-nine.
Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.
Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.
