197. Striving For Perfection
- Dec 18, 2025
- 10 min read
Perfectionism often disguises itself as ambition, yet it quietly drains us, delays progress, and erodes our confidence. When we learn to challenge the fear-driven patterns that keep us stuck, we reclaim our time, energy, and sense of self-trust. As we shift toward sustainable excellence, we give ourselves permission to show up intentionally, imperfectly, and powerfully.
When we fear judgment—when the cost of a mistake feels like it could be career-altering—we tend to create rigid expectations for ourselves.
Are you constantly pushing yourself to meet impossibly high standards, only to feel drained or disappointed no matter how hard you work? Are you caught in the perfectionism–procrastination loop where fear of making mistakes keeps you from taking action until the very last minute? Are you playing it safe in your career, avoiding challenges unless you’re sure you can excel, even when part of you knows it’s holding you back?
You’ll learn that perfectionism isn’t a marker of excellence but a fear-based coping mechanism that fuels procrastination, anxiety, and stalled growth. Shifting from flawless execution to sustainable excellence gives you back your energy, confidence, and career momentum.
WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER
Why perfectionism quietly harms your performance, mental health, and long-term growth—even when it looks like ambition or dedication on the surface
5 practical tips to break the perfectionism–procrastination cycle
Why sustainable excellence is the path to confidence, credibility, and a healthier relationship with success
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TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Stop Sabotaging Your Success podcast, episode one hundred and ninety-seven. I'm your host Cindy Esliger. This is the podcast focusing on what we can do today to take control of our careers and overcome the inevitable barriers to success that we encounter along the way.
Perfectionism in the workplace is often praised as dedication, admired as ambition, and mistaken for excellence. But underneath the polish and pride lies a far more complicated truth—perfectionism isn't always the asset it pretends to be. In truth, it's our conscientiousness that pushes us to produce high-quality work, and our perfectionism is what quietly sabotages us. It fuels procrastination, drains our energy, and feeds that gnawing self-doubt that whispers we're never quite good enough. The pursuit of flawlessness can feel like a noble quest, but it's often a cleverly disguised trap that delays progress, increases our stress, and ultimately chips away at our self-confidence.
In this episode, we're digging into the perfectionism-procrastination loop that so many high-achieving professionals find themselves stuck in. This need to be flawless can become a barrier to growth. It is worth considering a shift from this all-or-nothing thinking to something far more powerful, and that is sustainable excellence. Because when we learn to balance ambition with self-compassion and perception with relatability, we reclaim our time, protect our mental health, and rebuild the kind of confidence that actually lasts.
I felt this constant, unspoken pressure to prove myself. I used to wear my perfectionism like a badge of honor. I truly believed it set me apart. My attention to detail was impeccable. I even framed my willingness to redo work that was 'good enough', but not quite up to my standards, as a good thing.
But over time, I realized something important. My perfectionism wasn't helping me succeed. It was actually holding me back. I had to learn to shift from obsessing over being perceived as flawless to focusing on achieving sustainable excellence. At the end of the day, I wanted a career that didn't leave me feeling exhausted, resentful, and bitter, and yet, that was exactly where I was headed.
Many of us fall into the trap of perfectionism, especially when we believe that it's the only way to earn respect, establish our credibility, or snag that next promotion. And for women, the stakes often feel higher. We're already fighting to be seen, to be heard, and to be taken seriously. So, of course, we default to trying to be perfect to avoid giving anyone more reason to dismiss us.
But what I eventually realized is that my relentless pursuit of perfection wasn't about excellence at all. It was about fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being criticized or humiliated, fear of being exposed as not 'good enough'.
And ironically, it's those very fears that fuel procrastination. We get so paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong that we delay doing it altogether. Or, we spend hours overthinking a simple task, tweaking it to death when we could have had it done and moved on to something else. Sound familiar? I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
So, let's talk about how this perfectionism-procrastination loop works:
First, you set impossibly high standards.
Then, you feel anxious about meeting those standards you've set for yourself.
So, you avoid doing the task in the hopes of not having to feel that anxiety that's creeping in.
But instead, you begin to feel ashamed for not doing the task.
So, you finally get it done under pressure, which leaves you feeling exhausted and panicked.
And then, even if you manage to pull it off, you don't get to enjoy your success—if that comes at all—because you're already thinking you should have done it better. And, you also have a convenient excuse should someone question the quality of your work, because you were rushed and didn't have time to do it well.
And then the loop starts all over again.
As you know, working in male-dominated fields means often being the only, or one of the few women in the room. That can feel a bit like walking a tightrope because there's little room for error, or at least that's how it feels. And that pressure leads us to set an impossibly high bar for ourselves.
When we fear judgment—when the cost of a mistake feels like it could be career-altering—we tend to create rigid expectations for ourselves. And once we do something impressively once, that becomes our new baseline. Welcome to the praise-reward trap.
You were recognized for doing something extraordinary? Great. Now, do it again, and again, and again—only faster this time, and with less help. Because now you've 'proven' yourself and suddenly 'great' isn't as impressive anymore—because now it's expected.
There are potential consequences when we chase this so-called flawlessness. Because perfectionism isn't just exhausting; it's damaging. And, it's likely costing you more than you realize.
Here are five common ways perfectionism messes with your performance, well-being, and career growth:
Expectation Escalation and Burnout: When you over-deliver regularly, people start to expect it. Eventually, you burn out trying to meet the bar you helped raise—and no one thanks you for it. They just expect you to continue to deliver at that high of a level, not recognizing that it was never going to be sustainable.
Mental Health Fallout: Perfectionism is directly linked to anxiety, depression, shame, and chronic self-doubt. You're constantly afraid of being found out, of failing, or of falling short, so it's no wonder that it can take a toll on your mental energy.
Inconsistent Performance: Last-minute panic becomes your only source of motivation. One day, you're on fire; the next, you're frozen. That 'rush' you rely on to finish things? It's not sustainable.
Refusal to Delegate: You can't let anyone help because they might not do it right, and you'll be blamed. So, you carry it all—and begin to collapse under the weight.
Plateaued Growth: You avoid anything you can't already do well, which means you stop growing. You miss chances to stretch, experiment, and surprise yourself.
Sometimes, perfectionism doesn't look like failure. We see it as more safety, comfort, and predictability. But that can also become a trap.
Here are three telltale signs you've let your perfectionism convince you to play it safe:
You shy away from new challenges unless success is guaranteed. You're missing out on growth opportunities out of fear of being seen as a beginner. You play to your strengths, but avoid risk entirely, in an effort to avoid criticism.
You hate learning in public. You avoid brainstorming sessions and get defensive when receiving feedback. You don't want anyone to know you're still figuring things out, not recognizing that this is what everyone else is doing, all the time.
You reject 'good enough' even when it's effective. You spend too much time making it perfect when the standard required is simply functional. You can't hit 'send' on an email or let anyone review your work because there's always one more thing to improve.
So, how do we get out of this loop? The answer isn't to give up caring, rather it's to recalibrate. It's about shifting your energy from being perfect to being more strategic.
This is where intentional imperfection comes in.
It's not about being lazy or lowering your standards. It's about choosing where to be excellent—and where to be average—on purpose. Let that sink in for a moment. You're not a machine. You don't have infinite energy. And, you cannot give a hundred percent to everything, every time.
Here's what intentional imperfection looks like:
Recognizing that excellence doesn't require maximum effort across all domains.
Embracing strategic mediocrity—choosing to do just enough in one area, so you can thrive in another.
Giving yourself permission to not be the hero in every meeting, the fixer of every crisis, or the finisher of every detail.
It means letting some things slide—not because you don't care, but because you can only care about so much. So, you need to care about the right things.
Here are five of the best strategies to start moving away from the perfection-procrastination trap and toward a healthier, more powerful version of success:
Use Time, Not Outcome, to Set Boundaries: Try using the Pomodoro Technique where you set a timer for twenty-five minutes and work until it rings, then stop and take a five-minute break. You might be amazed at how much you can get done in that amount of time. Don't aim for perfection. Putting a cap on your effort helps prevent overwork and minimizes diminishing returns.
Get Honest About the Trade-Offs: Ask yourself: What is this perfection protecting me from? What am I afraid will happen if this isn't perfect? What is it costing me—whether it's time, energy, maybe opportunity? Clarity is power. When you name the fear, it starts to lose its grip.
Practice Planned Procrastination: Not every task needs your immediate attention. Some problems resolve themselves without your input. Practice letting others take the lead. You don't need to be indispensable to be valuable.
Recalibrate What 'Enough' Means: This might be the time to use one of those catchy affirmations or mantras to keep things in perspective. You're sure to find many suggestions online, such as: Done is better than perfect. I am enough. Or, progress, not perfection. These are popular because sometimes, they can work to help you build new mental patterns, one repetition at a time.
Intentionally Choose Where to Excel: Pick your battles. Where do you want to be amazing this week? And, where are you okay being 'just fine'? Make that decision before your perfectionism makes it for you.
Now, let's go a little deeper, because if we want to truly shift this pattern, we've got to dig below the surface.
Try asking yourself these questions to prompt some reflection:
What are you most afraid will happen if you let go of your perfectionism?
What does your procrastination protect you from?
Where could you experiment with being 'good enough' and just observe the outcome?
How might your career—or even your life—improve if you trusted yourself more and tried being more open to implementing some constructive feedback?
What would striving for sustainable excellence actually look like in your day-to-day?
It's okay if these questions feel hard to answer. That's the point. Self-awareness doesn't always feel good, but it has the potential to move us forward.
If you find yourself stuck between wanting to impress others with your capabilities and not knowing where to begin because you're feeling paralyzed, remember, perfectionism is just fear.
It's okay to want to be great. It's okay to care deeply. But greatness doesn't come from never messing up. It comes from showing up consistently, learning through the missteps, and being bold enough to try again.
In my own life, I was afraid that if I were to let go of my perfectionism, I would lose the respect of others that I had worked so hard to gain, and then I would no longer be taken seriously in my career.
I think this is the quiet fear that lingers beneath the over-preparing, over-polishing, and over-functioning that many of us do. Many high-achieving professionals have internalized the belief that being flawless is the only armor that protects us from being underestimated, questioned, or dismissed altogether. And yet, perfectionism isn't what earns respect—consistency, clarity, and confidence do.
Letting go of perfectionism doesn't mean lowering your standards; it means focusing your effort where it counts, delivering quality work, and showing up as someone who trusts their own judgment. That's what builds credibility, not whether every deliverable is immaculate. In fact, many of the most respected leaders and peers are the ones who make mistakes, own them, and recover gracefully, and keep going without unraveling. That's sustainable excellence in action—and it's far more powerful than perfection could ever be.
So, here's what I've learned. Perfectionism isn't a strength—it's a coping mechanism. Because what looks like impossibly high standards is often just fear in disguise—fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of being seen is not 'good enough'. While perfectionism might help you avoid criticism in the short-term, over time it fuels procrastination, self-doubt, and avoidance, keeping you stuck and silently eroding your self-confidence.
That all-or-nothing thinking, that is often my default, gets me nowhere. I held onto that belief that every task had to be executed flawlessly but that only led to energy mismanagement, stalled progress, and missed opportunities. Sustainable excellence means being strategic about where you aim for high performance and where 'good enough' is truly enough. It's about how long-term success is built.
And, what took me a long time to embrace is that letting go of the pressure to always be flawless doesn't mean I'm settling—it means I'm reclaiming my power. Shifting away from perfectionism isn't about lowering your standards; it's about reclaiming your time, protecting your mental health, and focusing on what actually moves your career forward.
When you stop trying to be 'everything to everyone', you start showing up with confidence, and that's what really matters.
Perfectionism may seem like a strength, but it's often what keeps us stuck—driving procrastination, draining our energy, and making us doubt ourselves at every turn. By letting go of the fear of criticism and embracing sustainable excellence, we free ourselves to focus on what truly matters and move forward with clarity and purpose.
You don't have to be perfect to be powerful—just intentional, self-aware, and brave enough to show up as who you are, because that's far more relatable than being seen as someone who never makes mistakes.
And that's it for this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success. Remember to download your Guide to Letting Go at cindyesliger.com/podcast, episode one hundred and ninety-seven.
Thank you to our producer, Alex Hochhausen and everyone at Astronomic Audio. Get in touch, I'm on Instagram @cindyesliger. My email address is info@cindyesliger.com.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out The Confidence Collective. It's my monthly coaching program where we dig a little deeper into what's holding you back in your career and we find the workarounds. We help you overcome the barriers and create the career you want. Join me over at cindyesliger.com/join. I'd love to have you join me in The Confidence Collective.
Until next week, I'm Cindy Esliger. Thanks for listening.
